Today for no particular reason, grief paid me a visit. It didn’t send me a calendar invite or a “Heads up, I’ll be there in 10 minutes” text; It just showed up, completely unannounced and demanding to be felt.
I was definitely feeling a bit “off” throughout the morning and by early afternoon I was on the verge of tears. My old friend grief was tapping on my shoulder and I knew that I had to turn around and look this wild goddess in the eyes.
With my heart feeling heavier and heavier by the moment, I went and sat quietly at the foot of my alter. I played some music to help me drop into my emotions (allowing myself to cry and feel sad emotions isn’t something that comes natural for me, so the music helps.) In the beautiful notes of my favorite songs, I find my humanness. I am reminded that crying is what ignites the flow of life. I seem to continuously forget the cleansing powers of tears.
Vulnerability in community has become trendy. People are eager to share their shadowed selves, the parts of them that most people don’t see. The pieces of them they hide. Grief, Trauma, Sadness, Rage, just to name a few. I have found on the path of grief that vulnerability with one’s self is equally powerful.
Expressing grief out loud is so important, but grief in quiet solitude is just as potent.
We are all walking around with grief in our hearts, some of us are just better at hiding it. Grief exposes us to our humaneness, to our seemingly breakable yet resilient hearts. It knocks the wind out of us and sends us flat on our ass.
So how does one get back up from such a painstaking serving of grief?
I think the answer is different for everyone, but the most important part is that you get back up.
On my journey with grief, I have learned that it will never “go away,” nor would I want it to. Grief is the powerful lifeline between me and my loved ones who have died. It’s the reminders to quiet down and feel my feelings. It’s what reminds me of this beautiful human experience, how fragile we are, and how very short our time is here. As my favorite writer, Amy Krouse Rosenthal, used to say “Make the most of your time here.”
The next time grief makes an impromptu visit (and you better believe she will) — open up your heart and listen.
Just moments after sitting in my grief today, I was inspired to write this blog after a very long writing hiatus. As I was writing this blog, I received a call from a colleague for grief support consulting. Living proof that grief is never convenient but it’s always on time.
If you know of a community, group organization, or company in need of grief support – please have them contact me at growfromgrief.com/contact-us
[image from The Grief Toolbox Artwork Gallery]