Transforming Grief

Transforming Grief

In three months, eighty beautiful souls will gather together with a common intention, to heal. I created this retreat style workshop for those who wish to come into a more intimate and safe space with their grief. My hope is that we will dive into the sea of grief, finding that together we make one awesome school of fish.

I am excited. It feels like I have been waiting my whole life to attend a workshop like this. It is a safe place to let go, and allow our grief to transform us. We will dance, sing, meditate, make art, and listen to the healing wisdom of inspiring teachers. Sounds amazing right?

Grief has revealed some of the most profound teachings to me. Above all, grief allows me to feel and that is a very beautiful human quality. Grief reminds me how BIG I love.

At age 19, all of my friends were well into their sophomore year of college and I opted for a rather different path. I fell in love with a woman, who also happened to have stage four lung cancer. When confronted about her cancer, I replied in my fearless and oh-so-19-year-old defiant attitude, “you don’t choose who you fall in love with”. I still stand behind that. The reality is everyone we love will die one day. I just happened to love someone who was actively dying.

Instead of mid-terms, I was learning every oncology term. It was a different kind of schooling, one that would transform my entire life. Loving someone who is that sick is a blessing. Especially when your loved one is a spunky red-head with a sharp-witted humor, I swear we spent more time laughing ourselves into tears. Cancer was happening, but we didn’t let it ruin our fun. We loved each other fiercely. Moments were precious, with no time to waste on the bullshit. Truth and transparency was our language.

On the day she died, my heart was ripped wide open. The ache was unbearable. I spent many, many nights crying in deep despair, begging for her to return. My bereavement counselor suggested very prematurely “when you heal, I think you may be great for this type of work”. What on earth was she saying? I was broken.

After years of many ups and down and the loss of a very dear friend, I admit I still have a lot of healing to do. But on the flip side, I have experienced the transformative power of grief and it has become one of my greatest teachers in this life. I wish for each of you to uncover and discover this beautiful gift. The key is to stay open & lean into your grief. You will uncover that there is so much love and warmth waiting to catch you.

Hope to see you all in June.